A million issues to worry about, but I choose to relax

   If you read the title and feel like you're confused, then good it was meant so. If you read the title and felt as though it is understandable then good we are on the same boat.

   I went through a lot as a child, and even more as my journey slowly goes on but sadly my "issues" have yet to end. I do not choose to avoid them but rather live with them. Some mistakes I;ve made in the past are things I cannot change, some sacrifices I've made were more than necessary but like any other normal human I am made of flesh and feelings so I do feel even subtle pain. I choose to relax though, because regardless of all those things I know something will never change. My mindset is always going to be the same.

   Only once in a while will I get so tired to the point where I feel as though there are no escapes but even them I tell myself to just get up and keep going but truthfully I don't have a strong mindset then, I'm going through instinct. Instinct is what will ruin a person or lead them to succeed.
To me conquering each day one by one is already a small success but to others it may be nothing.

Lending a helping hand to someone can make me feel great but even then as a human and as a women, I ridicule.
I wonder, who in the right minds would be stupid enough to have such thoughts, so such actions or even possible just think to myself about many many things.

We all have secrets, we all like secrets. Secrets are what make us mysteries. How well do you know your best friends, your family, your past or maybe even your future?
 
   Perhaps I like to live like I'm in a novel waiting for some climax but when it hits and arrives I may just choose the low road and cruise my way around it because I don't want that climax but I am looking for another.

And like anyone else, ....I am lost, but I am not.

I see what I wish, just like you
I choose what I chose because it is my choice,
the outcome is what I make it to be
not what it wishes to be
I am in control so I can control.

Life is simple, just live it day by day and those issues will be nothing but climaxes.

-LiXMei

Plastic Bottles

Funny incident occurred today when I had a little dispute with a good old' friend of mines. He says he liked writing poems, I didn't doubt this one bit but I did know I've never heard one of his.
He made a video of himself reading a poem about "Plastic", in reference to a plastic bottle is like a girl.
The poem itself covered many things, how the girl starts out and how she changes through her influences from others, and really this comparison is one I have yet to think of.

Woman or girls we really are like plastic bottles, but my thought process a little different from his.
The only way to technically reshape a plastic bottle is to burn it, and that is one of the many way to throw it away and destroy it so it becomes a different form of matter.
Regardless this made me think that maybe in life woman should be like that, we look clear, fragile and can be filled up with anything very easily (let it be sweets or bitter moments) but in the end it is only ourselves that make us whom we are.
What makes us this plastic is what keeps us so strong and because plastic is recyclable, woman have those thoughts on how they can change into different things and people, but in reality we are all still the same.

We are Plastics. 

The days go by fast but I miss them even faster

Ever sit around all day and wonder what you wish to do and before you realize it half the day is gone?
This is slowly becoming my life, I have many task to complete but like many of you I do lose that power within me to fight and move forward... I become helpless, and I no longer want to do anything.
I'd rather sit infront of a window watch what the world outside of my little room is doing, sounds stalkerish but honestly you can notice a lot of things when its nothing but you and a window. (throw in some headphones and also some nice ballads)

I still know that I have things to do, but I notice more when everything to me is still, silent and just taking its steps one by one.
I've noticed that children can be excited by the little things like the weather of cold, snow that makes us adults or teenagers feel disgust and remorse. In a child's eyes they simply want to do a simple thing- PLAY~ playing is living. As adults we play too but we choose so many boring games that our lives become dim and boring almost pointless once we hit a final destination brink through our many boring levels of this game.

We work, we study, we work, we study, we sit and mope and we sit and we complain, we do everything but enjoy what is really there before us to take in.
We teach eachother this uselessness within us and we start to make it a habit soon it becomes so addicting that its like a drug.
I can sit and do nothing but play on my cell phone for hours, I can even just lay in bed for hour and do nothing but lay there, sounds pathetic and boring but rather this is my way of relaxing.

I like you all also play this game~, working and attempting to study but my focus is broken by miscellaneous thoughts and unconditional worries.
My attention spam is normal granted very strong but recently I've lost that good trait and just made everyday a new goal, living on the edge if I can name it that.
I have slow-ed this game down, doing things in my own speed: a comforting thing honestly.

Enjoy Life in your own speed, don't let it slip from your hands but rather embrace it with whatever pace you wish- some like fast paces, some drag their feet, some skip around, and others like me like to sit and stare at how time goes by. 

No matter how it will pass, choose the journey at least and the pacing must be just comfortable. 

Why sit in the past with the future in sight?

There are a lot of things in this lifetime as humans no one will ever be able to answer,

we discover, we question, and we uncover

One thing that never changes is our past

we can try to erase our memories but in our memories are our

joys, our regrets, our remorse and over all that in our memories

lives part of ourselves. 

The past is not a place to dwell though, it is a place to remember only as a memory

The past is a place to let our mistakes sit and replay in our minds

The past lives forever only to replay the same images

our mistakes were caused for us to learn

if we don't learn then they reoccur.

Memories of the past should only aide us in grasping our future

the future is something we can map

something to indulge our thoughts and our emotions

a place to allow our dreams of the past resurface 

In the future,

lays a new beginning.

Gather all your courage to march forward, leave the old and the upsetting in the past.

Once it is behind you, it will always be nothing but a past.

A part of you that doesn't need to keep moving forward

In the new future, the past can be nothing but 

memories.

"SMILE AND MOVE FORWARD"

The Game of LIFE: The Controller

There is a game invented some time ago that many people may no longer play but it was called "Life" when I was younger I used to play this game and as a child I didn't understand exactly what I was doing but as time grew on me and I became an educated person who just like anybody else fought to see the light of tomorrow, I learn that the game is like LIFE itself.
Life can be viewed like a game, and everyone's story is different; some may be similar but as the controller of your own life- there are also rules that must be understood:
1. Your choices influences your path
2. Your emotions influences your choices to roll out your path
3. Your character defines how far you can make it in the game

Competition is inevitable in life, and it is everywhere. From the moment we are brought into the world from fighting with people for items, for parents or for attention and affection and even once we enter the real society of adulthood, there is still competition, for schools, for grades, and even for jobs and careers. The true story is- it doesn't matter if you don't want to play the game no more because it can keep going with or without you. That doesn't mean that no one is important but in this game many people play a role, and you have yours; either play your part correctly or be removed for your foolish mistakes.

The moral I'm trying to present here is that "do not allow your emotions to take over your choices." and "do not let your choices overpower your distance in life"... Opportunities are countless but only to those whom truly leave themselves open to them and are willing to accept the invitations of this opportunities.

In a game of LIFE, its the controller's decisions that decide whether or not their turn is up or not. Choosing wisely every time is not rational but learning from those wrong choices and learn to accept that as a human we can be wrong, we are selfish and we too can re-learn to work around our mistakes.

join the game; control the plays; and portray your own fate.

Wanderers of Life

People can be categorized into two simple groups; one of which would be- Workaholics- all they understand is work, more work and how to succeed in reaching their goals, and that's not bad but that means they are likely to overlook precious things and opportunities in their life. The other group can be called Livers (sounds yucky) anyhow they live, the enjoy every part of life and they know how to cherish those around them with whatever little things they have in life, making life for them something precious yet easy to watch go by.
Those two groups though only come into play once someone enters the society. You can tell because before working, careers, college or even just sitting in the basement at 40 while your mother is having a book club meeting upstairs; it just happens that every child can be called a "wanderer".

As wanderers we are brought into this world not knowing what is going to happen in our future, we have no fears and we have no hopes. Nothing can harm us (emotionally- because physically we're helpless) , but each and everyone of us is supposed to be destined for something great I guess? That's the saying anyways.
A baby is the first wanderer that leads us into our fears and answers our questions, we experience our first emotions when we are simple an infant that can't even read or write or let alone speak.
Soon we all become toddlers, we learn to crawl, we learn we have to share when we play with friends, and we learn that soon we have to go to school (a place that involves learning more things we are told- a fun place )

The years go on and on and we create goals, dreams, and anticipations for ourselves. Some of us plan our futures and work towards it, others live still like wanderers we simply go with what we have and everyday is either the same or different- time just passes for those wanderers and nothing changes. This can be seen as comfort maybe, or laziness depending on everyone's personal views. Regardless soon enough once we enter adulthood we become someone who works hard and harder and eventually is swallowed in our work towards hopes and dreams and goals or we become someone who simply lives to see the ones around them in bliss and share our bliss.

Personally either one can overlook and miss parts of life that are important , and that's why I like to categorize myself under a growing wanderer, someone who is making efforts but only willing to sacrifice so much. Giving up some things to trade for another but remember what is most important.
Having fun when it is necessary and occasionally when it's not, waking late to realize half the day is over but there is still another half to spend.

Life. Time. it's all precious but what is more precious is that someone can evolve from a Wanderer to become anything they wish... maybe just stay a wanderer. This world holds many great things as it does many dark things, moving forward is the only way to decipher what is good and what is bad.

Humans are simply like wanderers of life, we live to discover, we live to grow, we live to eventually go back to wherever in this universe we belong. Some say heaven, some say eventually we will all reincarnate but the bliss of life itself won't always follow us so why not cherish it in the lifetime you are given.

I know for sure that if today were to be my last breath- at the most I can say :
"I have loved, I have cherished, I have memories. If I lose all of what I once had, at least allow me to reminisce only the bliss."  

In the dark find your light

Someone can be lonely, 

So lonely we feel as if in this world there exist no other soul.

We live amongst strangers,

amongst family and friends,

amongst so many souls yet in the end,

we find ourselves alone.

The darkest nights though are the nights we see our light,

there will be a friend,

a phrase,

a hug or even just a smile,

which enlightens our days. 

If you're given a chance to make someone's day brighter,

give them a hug,

a smile,

a kiss or even

just share a joke.

This world can be cold and miserable for some

but with the help of another

it can be filled with 

warmth and beauty.