. S o m e w h e r e . S o m e h o w . S o m e d a y .

S o m e w h e r e :

I once wandered through my days thinking of all the places I could be but here. 

I struggled like anyone else trying to find peace at heart, an answer that was at point blank distance yet I always missed.

Searching nights restlessly hoping one day I'd have the answers I ponder hours for, yet here I am still wondering if I ever needed to worry for all the little matters to weigh me down for the years to come. 

The answer is...  No. 

S o m e h o w: 

No one held my hands when I fought myself through my darkest time,

I never wished nor wanted for that to get in the way of my relations with others. 

Yet, today I am here standing on my own two feet - still asking myself if things would have been different would I have set aside my own strengths and indulged in my weaknesses. 

Others ask of guidance, some ask for a reference and today I am asking if  I would truly change any of my past decisions. 

The answer is... No. 

S o m e d a y: 

In legends, and fairy tales there are exciting events and happy endings. 

But in between alike there are increments of sadness, remorse, anger, and regret. 

In life someday, I just want to be able to look back at my life and smile not in defeat but with contentment. 

Compliment myself for the path I did choose. Embrace who I have become, and someday even tell myself - " you made it." 

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With time drifting I find life all the more beautiful.

There are ugly moments, but I know now it was only a moment. 

There are memories I still shed tears for, but I know now they were worth every second. 

Someday, Somehow, Somewhere : 

I reflect upon my deepest desires to fight with my greatest fears. 

Celebrating my growth through my passion, ambitions, and dreams. 

Love,
LxMei

A million issues to worry about, but I choose to relax

   If you read the title and feel like you're confused, then good it was meant so. If you read the title and felt as though it is understandable then good we are on the same boat.

   I went through a lot as a child, and even more as my journey slowly goes on but sadly my "issues" have yet to end. I do not choose to avoid them but rather live with them. Some mistakes I;ve made in the past are things I cannot change, some sacrifices I've made were more than necessary but like any other normal human I am made of flesh and feelings so I do feel even subtle pain. I choose to relax though, because regardless of all those things I know something will never change. My mindset is always going to be the same.

   Only once in a while will I get so tired to the point where I feel as though there are no escapes but even them I tell myself to just get up and keep going but truthfully I don't have a strong mindset then, I'm going through instinct. Instinct is what will ruin a person or lead them to succeed.
To me conquering each day one by one is already a small success but to others it may be nothing.

Lending a helping hand to someone can make me feel great but even then as a human and as a women, I ridicule.
I wonder, who in the right minds would be stupid enough to have such thoughts, so such actions or even possible just think to myself about many many things.

We all have secrets, we all like secrets. Secrets are what make us mysteries. How well do you know your best friends, your family, your past or maybe even your future?
 
   Perhaps I like to live like I'm in a novel waiting for some climax but when it hits and arrives I may just choose the low road and cruise my way around it because I don't want that climax but I am looking for another.

And like anyone else, ....I am lost, but I am not.

I see what I wish, just like you
I choose what I chose because it is my choice,
the outcome is what I make it to be
not what it wishes to be
I am in control so I can control.

Life is simple, just live it day by day and those issues will be nothing but climaxes.

-LiXMei