I miss you.

Everyone misses someone. But, we all move on and those memories are the most cherished moments; every second and moment shared or recalled will always be worth more than words.

I have a tendency to always miss anyone who was ever special/dear to my heart.

It's that time of year again, and I seemed to have started to lose direction but I am still standing.

Grandpa and Grandma must be near once again, because even though I feel

empty- it seems like there is still a warm light inside of me.

I don't believe in Goodbyes are forever. I feel that when the time is right you'll meet with them again, or

cross paths with that individual once more.

This post is just so I can vent sadly, because as negative as it sounds I'm still trying

to stand positive.

To say I love you, was so hard.

-LxM

"Time doesn't wait for us."

多年後 Years Later - Pets Ceng (ENG TRANS)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oLUZjVg3e-w


多年後 After all those years 
ARTIST: Pets Ceng

說愛情總是一個突然的衝動
Love is always said to be a sudden rash decision
赤裸裸在人面前攤開雙手
Naked and bare we opened our arms
講的每一句話一個念頭
Every sentence, and every thought that was spoken
無非成為下個故事的暖身動作
Incidentally became the next stories warm up exercise

*
現在的我和他仍一樣的傻
Now, me and him are equally dumb
一直都很晴朗少了一些漂蕩
Always so calm, lacking aggression
屋裡的暖色調還有咖啡的香
Inside the house's warm colors and scent of coffee
就算失眠了我想你也不會怎樣
Even if it was insomnia, I don't think it'd matter to you

多年後不再習慣成為了一種習慣
After all those years, the things we weren't used to became a habit
多年後你的喜歡再也不是我的喜歡
After all those years, your likes are no longer my likes
換了另一個地方繼續和別人晚餐
Changing the destination of this meal, with a different person
是勇敢還是笨蛋
Is this bravery or just stupidity 
讓兩個人相聚了又解散
To allow two people to come together but separate

*REPEAT


時間是極度瘋狂隨時要爆炸的船
Time is like a crazy time machine waiting to blow up
回憶在心中搖晃
All the memories in our hearts replaying endlessly
讓你要想不想要斷不斷
Making us want, but not want continuously 

多年後如果再見又想起你的喜歡
After all those year, goodbye is my memory of our affections
多年後如果再見再也不是一種背叛
After all those year, goodbye isn't just a type of betrayal 
換了另一個地方繼續兩人的晚餐
Changing the destination of this meal, with a different person
是勇敢還是笨蛋
Is this bravery or stupidity 
很有默契相聚了又解散
This ridiculous luck to meet again, but still separate


Loves,,, LxM

Grey-scale

Having taken out the color doesn't necessarily mean that everything is lifeless, and dull- looking at everything from a different perspective is actually a plus on your half.

In greyscale, what makes something to the point where we only see black and white but truthfully there is no black and black its really all grey. The grey spots simply falls on the darker or lighter sides of the scale that we create for ourselves.

Add some darker tints allow it to be deep grey, and add some lighter tints and it almost carries a whiter essence to it.

I had the joy of working with a photographer from Sacramento California (JonahVangPhotography) and he managed to get this shot of me and after receiving it - I was touched rather deeply not by the portrait of myself but rather that this image was like a canvas.

Blur the lines and fade it into the background, life is like this image of no color. There is no define line for anything, we ourselves make our rules and we ourselves decide on our worth.

I am standing in the foreground, does that make me the focus of all the things around me? in this portrait perhaps but there will be times when I am not the focus, when others are the focus when the trees behind me will not be faded but rather flourishing with life.

A grey-scale is a meter, with a scale that we create for ourselves. Dim the lights out of the color- and just enjoy that through all this madness really we can just enjoy the simplicity of how everything falls together.


With Regards,
LxMei

Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened. (Dr.Suess)

Don't Cry Because It's Over, Smile Because It Happened. 

-Dr. Suess 

We all meet ups and downs in our lives. Sadly, there isn't much we can do when we meet with multiple downs. I don't look down on crying but when it boils down to it after the shower you just have to find a rainbow. 

Can't find a rainbow, no worries you are capable of creating one for yourself. 

Steps to making your own rainbow after the flood of tears:

1. Clear your vision (heart, soul, mind- find a moment of peace)

2. Take a deep breathe ( the kind that you can feel lift off your shoulders) 

3. SMILE (force it if you must but just know that its going to help)

Congratulations, look you have a rainbow now on your face. 

Now, move forward and strive for a new goal.

This post essentially is not only for me but for anyone who may stumble upon it too. We are vulnerable to our emotions and I am not saying you should ever bottle up but quite honestly from experience I know it never goes well. 

Just know that you are not alone and there are more people in this world suffering perhaps from the same things you are or worse. 

I tell myself every time I am reminiscing a certain individual, thinking about certain memories or just having a bad day (week, month yea.. ya know) that I have to look up because look back or looking down won't lead me anywhere but to where I didn't want to be obviously because I allowed myself to walk away.

Walking away from the negative, the bad takes a lot of strength and courage. So if you know someone who is struggling just give them a smile, share your rainbow and know that you can't always cry because something you once loved so dearly is over but rather smile because it did really happen and in the jist of the moment you loved every second of it. 

<3 Love Always,

Lxm (09.2016) 

After the sunset

After the sunset, I'll only remember how much it hurt and not the actual experience.

I've worked hard on myself trying to make me a better individual, not for others but for me. I act carefully so I don't hurt those around me but little was I ready for anything that approached me this year. 

The level of pain I've gained from this year's stress alone was unbearable, had two anxiety attacks and thought I'd be completely at a lost. Then from no where I came across a care-free soul.

Have I never had a carefree individual come into my life? sure, I have they are everywhere. Just one like this one had never appeared so suddenly. I am open to meet new individuals but never to go out of way to this extent. 

I love new experience, and being a little crazy this year was on my list. I didn't expect to fall as deep as I did; didn't expect to feel all the empty-ness that I fought through.

So, 2016 was a mash up of a lot of fun and total hell. Funny story is that it's not even over yet; the stress is building on and on now day by day. Hopefully after this year I can just get back to focusing on whatever I wanted to do originally. 

When the original plan does not work, there is always a plan B. 

Besides, after a good nights sleep I shouldn't be thinking about these infamous memories anymore. 

Thank you though, for allow me to see just how crazy I can be. I never knew I had it in me, you changed me as an individual and I couldn't appreciate it more. 

Love,

LxM

The Queen's Rule - (Halsey Castle)

Halsey - Castle Audio Video

Sick of all these people talking, sick of all this noise

Tired of all these cameras flashing, sick of being poised

Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it

I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They've got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

Oh, all of these minutes passing, sick of feeling used

If you wanna break these walls down, you're gonna get bruised

Now my neck is open wide, begging for a fist around it

Already choking on my pride, so there's no use crying about it

I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They've got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

There's no use crying about it [4x]

I'm headed straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They've got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

They wanna make me their queen

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying that I probably shouldn't be so mean

I'm headed straight for the castle

They've got the kingdom locked up

And there's an old man sitting on the throne that's saying I should probably keep my pretty mouth shut

Straight for the castle

----------------------------------------------

Just something I stumbled upon while deep in my study phase. 

*yea I wasn't that focused shh!

But, the main point being made is when you are a queen some things aren't worth crying about moving forward and aiming for nothing but better is all Queens should do.

Staying strong as the most aspiring individual you want to become.

-LxMei

So this change, recently happened...

I used to be terrified to stand infront of a camera, my baby photos consisted of me crying infront of cameras, somehow somewhere though I found myself traveling from hiding behind the lens to wanting to experience life infront of the lens.
A different perspective on life perhaps, and a new challenge that I currently enjoying as it last.

LINK TO MY PROFILE

Model: Sarah Ly 

Located In MO, I am willing to travel for serious inquiries. 

Photo Credit : TP LOR Photography 

Photo Credit: Cam Xiong Photography 

Photo Credit: Nick Warnock and Sons

Photo Credit: Nick Warnock and Sons 

-LXmei

Everly's Journey of Life "Ask not what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for others."

Everly's Journey of Life (FB PAGE)

"Ask not what you can do for yourself, but what you can do for others." 

Today's post is dedicated to my many pondering thoughts, and this little girl here. 

Most people may look at these photos and be questioning why this post wonder who she is- well her name is Everly Moua- she is my niece and she was diagnosed with Epilepsy.

She is the strongest child, I've ever laid eyes on. This little girl taught me what it meant to be happy unconditionally, how to cherish the precious life that we are given. 

I held her once as a baby, and never before had I been so scared; holding her in the wrong position could've been so hazardous to her. For years I watched my sister raise her, and love her; I just watched and admired how she could do it and make it seem so easily. 

We live everyday wondering what we can do for our futures, and establish for ourselves and never stop to think who else in this world may be waiting for us to stop in our steps and look around to see all that we are missing. 

Helping others should come unconditionally, if you asked me how this little girl helped me-

my answer:

she smiled at me, and made my day a little brighter

Simple as that, she struggles yes; but she has never stopped smiling. She will cry in pain, struggle to stand, but never once did she fall and stay down. Her motivation comes from within and her strength pulls on everyone, she is a warrior fighting for a reason to get back up.

I've always wanted to do something for this little girl; but currently all I want to do is share her page, share her story, and let everyone know. 

EVERLY MOUA - is more than your average little girl; she is going to dominate Epilepsy and she is going to be laughing and smiling forever because we love her and I hope all of you will too.

-Lxmei- 

有一種勇氣叫做放棄 A courage called giving up

Instead of asking me why, try to just understand that there isn't always an answer.

I didn't make a decision out of rash behavior, it was out of trust, love and with thorough processing.

Della Ding: A Courage Called Giving Up

...10 years ago, if you asked me to give up on something I'd be stubborn and tell you that I don't know how and that I wouldn't ever give up I'd work harder and harder to prove to you that I am right and eventually either it'd work or it wouldn't. 

Today, if you asked me why I've given up so much? I'd tell you: Because I am stronger than I once was. 

I am no longer scared of what consequences may come with my decisions, because I can understand and accept that it is what it will be. 

Years will go by,and I'll think back on maybe stupid decisions but I won't regret anything I've ever done for myself or for others. I enjoy being selfless, but I can be selfish. These are not bad traits though, they are what make my character. I am who I am; and if you ask me now to tell myself 10 years ago to be who I am today I couldn't do that to her. 

A Taiwanese artist Della Ding- released a song called "A type of courage called giving up" I linked the song and translation into the link above. It sort of explained to me why I made the decisions I did; I'm not running from my problems rather I've grown to accept that in some cases giving up is the best way; and it is by far not the easiest. 

It's another page in the book that is ready to be turned. 

-LxMei

photocredits: Yee Lee

"Stand Proud, Stand Tall, Stand with Courage. You can cry, can give up, and fail but Never forget who you are, and who are wish to become." 

My Fairy-Goth Mother

Fairy Goth Mother 

Does MakeUp & is Selling Prom Dresses!!!

She makes you feel like you are a modern day Cinderella

Prom-night may only last for a few hours, but she will leave you feeling enchanted for days

Under her care she uncovers all your beautiful traits

With her help you will not need a pumpkin, mice or a mate 

Enter the room and steal the spotlight 

Leave the night as a queen, not running from a scary prince 

 

She is not your average fairy god mother

She will be your Fairy Goth-Mother.

LINK To Make Your Appt. w/FairyGothMother Khall

She also has dresses on sale please contact her personally if you are interested in any of them :D

view more photos here!

Hi-Low Full of Glitter/Black Lace/ and nothing but flawless

The Gown of a QUEEN- Slay everyone with this entrance

A Lot of Silver Lining, keep it classical

Allow her to do your make-up and be ready for the NY runway!

 Thank You one & all-LxMei

21 Years of Nothing but Gratefulness

02.17.1995

I was brought onto this earth

by a wonderful mother, and a father who love unconditionally.

A few years to follow, I would be handed to with blessings to my parents today

my aunt and uncle who loved and tended to me without haste.

Becoming my undying backbone, they supported me equally as any parent should

4 years later they brought me a younger sister, 

her first cry was music to my ears, even if its like that song to the radio that was played too much.

My biological family also had given me 4 older brothers stronger than the core of earth,

and 3 older sisters with love deeper than the oceans 

also my mother gave me a younger brother who gave as many scares and laughs.

In the past 21 years, I have been nothing but grateful;

there are days that I've been upset, but after every obstacle I love them more.

As a great family they have guided me, and taught me how to be a better individual.

Lucky for me, I have also been blessed with an amazing group of friends.

My shooting star, she is like a star that is also fall around trying to grant others wishes but never once did anyone ask for her own wish, and even if it was stated she'd try to grant yours first. I love her for this. 

My courageous panda, stubborn as a rock when she knows she is right and stronger than a dragon warrior when you give her obstacles, when she guarded my side I had nothing to fear now she has found her own warrior and I am grateful she is so blessed for her future journeys to come.  

My beauty queen, forever the most beautiful woman I will ever lay my eyes on- her undying efforts to get a better lifestyle and her spite for those who do not need tolerance is what makes her who she is, a personality to never be caged. 

My Drake'sWifu, an individual character that cannot be replaced she has never given up over tears, or struggles. Probably because her Champagne Papi will come for her one day but regardless she is fighting for that future that she visualizes so well. 

and  finally My Teemo, you are my support when I need to be carried. 

To my friends: Thank You for always being my legs and keeping me up long enough to make another step forward. 

21 years into my life and I am forever grateful to have you all be in my life. 

Thank you guys for everything.

Loving you dearly,

LxMei