To My Star

To my dear star: 

Be Brave 

Be Strong 

Have Faith 

Do your best, and never forget you are amazing. 

You've grown a great amount in these last few days, and years. I've seen you shine brightly in the dark skies for years and this year you've been like a flying meteor going about to not face not only your worse fears but to open your beautiful heart to learn to receive to hurt and to heal. 

There are no words to express how proud I am of you, but you should know I am evermore pleased with all you have done. 

In my eyes you're already attaining so much, and these next few months I know you'll continue to surprise me. I love you. 

Travel safe, and remember behind you is an army of those who love you. 

To my dear soulmate, I love you. 

To my dear best friend, I will miss you.

To my love, I will be here waiting for your return. 

A friendship doesn't change because of distance, you are going on a journey now to become more successful and I am going to stay here to fight for mine as well.

"TOGETHER we shall FIGHT!" 

Love, XiaoMei <3 

A different form of light

Picture Credits: CamXiong Photography

Sometimes we find ourselves deep in thought, we ponder the late night trying to create answers to subconscious problems we harbor within ourselves.
Some of us our battling what I like to describe as our inner demon.
She/He isn't exactly a bad side of us but they are that side of us that we do not show to this world for our own reasons.
But, I've came to a new form of enlightenment perhaps.

Instead of taking in the concept of "What else can I be doing for change? or "Should I just not care?"
Many influencers have told me to do one more over the other,yes.
But I've got quite the stubborn personality and I don't believe in change unless I deem it as necessary.
In this case: It wasn't change I was looking for, but a balance as to how to adapt to this new setting to make myself feel more comfortable. I was looking for a new balance.

The past few years have been progressing forward, and they've been a huge test on me for so many reasons. Family, friends, school, and pursuing something I truly loved to do - everything was overwhelming.
I had my first real anxiety break down last year, I really lost all motivation in myself, and then again this year I caught myself facing a lot of questions towards myself.

I needed what I thought was a "break" but rather I realized I needed to "balance"
Recognizing I needed to make some subtle adjustments to myself, and to my surroundings I had to learn how to move forward, and truly find peace at mind for myself.

I met with some rough things the end of my last year, something should I be able to run from I would. But then again I've never been one to run, I'd rather just face them and do what I see is fit before letting go.
**straying from topic some though**
This new light" I've let shine upon myself I assume is -
I'm learning to truly take care of myself again.

To remind myself,
I have to be there for me when no one is, and I have to still be here when nobody is here for me.

The light itself is a specific individual: you see I had this amazing starlight in my life already and my family and close friends are all their own little shining globes in my world altogether but I am truly thankful for whatever reason GOD gave me this opportunity to meet someone like this individual.

This light knew nothing about me, only what I said. Yet they were able to tell me specifically what other's never dared to say to me, and really pushed me to be not the person I wanted others to see but just who I am.
Whether it be when I was too emotional, or angry or just upset, not once did this new light run away from me.
I could hold it and even when it dimmed I could still tell it was there.
Similar to my favorite starlight I assume.

I've ran in circles for years and even though I'm not sure where I am headed I'm slowly finally learned to enjoy whatever it is I'm facing, and just make my everyday count for another tomorrow.

That's all for now loves. - Lxm